Bus Uncle

A grumpy man on a bus has become the latest star on the Internet, thanks to a six-minute viral youtube film.

The video shows the man scolding a fellow bus passenger in Hong Kong for interrupting his phone call and has been viewed nearly 1.7 million times, becoming the second most viewed video on youtube for May. The movie has spawned countless spoofs, and introduced new slang based upon the ranting’s of the old man.

The film starts with the middle-aged protagonist reacting strongly when a young man sitting behind him taps his shoulder to ask him to keep his voice down while talking on the phone.

“I don’t know you. You don’t know me. Why do you do this?” the infuriated man says, punctuating the sentence by jabbing his right hand downward in the air. When the young man, who rarely talks back during the argument, expresses an unwillingness to continue the conversation, the middle-aged man explodes, “This is not resolved! This is not resolved!” – now a catchphrase in Hong Kong.

Just when the dispute seems to have ended after the young man apologises and the two shake hands, the young man takes issue with profanity used by the middle-aged man, who then launches into another round of swearwords.

It is not clear who shot the film or if the film was staged or not. The middle-aged man has not been identified but a man claiming to be the victim of the verbal abuse has been interviewed on Hong Kong’s Commercial Radio.

Bus Uncle on youtube.com

Is web 2.0 a registered trademark?

In my previous bloggings (if that’s a word) I’ve been a bit sceptical about web2.0, and especally the AJAX technologies. Having done some basic examples and seen it first hand I think AJAX does have a place in web development, but I think it must be measured. In other words, using AJAX if it solves a problem, not to be cool.

But it appears that web2.0 may itself be a registered trademark or copyrighted. As recently highlighted on a thread on sitepoint, a poster summarizes an article that proposes that the web2.0 concept has been trademarked by a company.

But I wouldn’t get too worried. The web2.0 has only been registered for a particular event, and in any case I believe chasing after everybody who talks, writes or contests the ligitimacy of web2.0 for web technologies won’t get sued — I mean, there’s already tons of books out there on the subject, and indeed other web technology subjects why suddenly cash in on this one?

Maybe, as the original article suggests, web2.0 was a term dreamt up by marketing professionals to sell more websites?


Snakes on a plane?

Samuel L. Jackson will be in the movie Snakes on a Plane, yes it sounds cheesy – but from following the IMDB boards and watching the trailer I think this will be a hilarious cheese-fest. Apparantly Jackson himself demanded the movie title to be reverted to it’s original title after it was changed by a senior producer. Fortuently, now we’ll have the opportunity to see Jackson in what could be a cult movie.

Snakes on a plane (IMDB)

Playstation 3 retails over 300?

Sony’s upcoming Playstation 3, the replacement for it’s aging Playstation 2 is touted as being well over 300 and has different versions.

According to some sources, the lower end model of the PS3 is not being released in the UK, only the higher one at around 400.

We’re already seeing the 50-70 game for the X-Box 360, and I’m wondering how long it will take before we see the first ever 100 game.

Is the PS3 really worth 300+? Is the PS3 backwards compatibile? Is it really worth buying?

Until the PS3 hits the shops and we get a clearer idea of what games are available (if any) and see the machine in the shops so we can see the graphics at first-hand, all we have are specifications, ideas and concepts.

Sony is either pitching a battle against Microsoft but they are also trying to captalise on features included on the Nintendo WII (or revolution as I’d like to call it).

The thing that all these games consoles have to get over is the X-factor, the thing that makes it uniquely different. The games consoles seem to have 1 main feature; to play games – and that’s why I still like playing games on the PC, even if they aren’t as action-packed or multi-playable as the PS-2’s of this world.

Will I buy the PS3 when it comes out? Hell no.

It’s just too expensive and I’m highly dubious of the hardware (some of which was blantly nicked from Nintendo’s machine, whilst they are pushing their own HD-DVD technology, the Blu-Ray DVD). Sony needs to convince us that the price tag is worthy of the machine, I mean for the same price you could go out and buy a Versace suit, and in the end I know what I’d buy with my money if I had the choice.

Bring Back The A-Team. Contrived, or genius?

After Channel 4’s latest series of the freak-show Big Brother hit our TV screen, they had Bring Back the A-Team, Justin Lee Collins had a show dedicated to track down and find the remaining members of the A-Team and bring them back together for what would be an emotional reunion.

The show was very good an enjoyable. Certainly Justin Lee Collins’ comic “puppy dog” style seemed geniune enough, but was the show? I mean, just how hard could it really be to track down the A-Team, I mean it’s not like he’s stalking Chunk from the Goonies.

I mean, couldn’t he just call up their collective agents and offered them huge money to rejoin? I mean, we all know that T likes money.

Lee Collins also spent a lot of time asking about George Peppard, the actor who played John “Hannibal” Smith to find out if the rumours about him being a “jerk” were true. Of course he couldn’t ask Peppard himself as he sadly passed away many years ago, the least Collins could do was to ask a “psychic” to ask the “ghost” of Peppard if he hated the T as much as Collins thought he did.

Anyway, the show did seem awfully long and I just don’t think the whole running up to the limo, knocking on the window and asking “can i aaaaave foive minutes of yer time please?” whilst endlessly repeating moronic catchphrases after every staged “ambush” such as “Good Times!” “Rock and Roll !” whatever next…”Happy Days”?

Collins each actor, except T, if they’d like to do a reunion — why he didn’t ask T on air about the reunion could be about the money. I mean, he’s not gonna do it for free. It gave me the impression that T didn’t care much about the other members.

The remaining cast members did rejoin in a bar. Faceman, Murdoch and the rest sure looked very old. Faceman famousily recovered from cancer of the prostate and refused the usual treatment and moved away to a secluded cottage where he followed the rules of a macrobiotic diet to cure himself of the cancer. T too also contracted cancer, but fortuently recovered.

The show was a great reminder of all our childhoods, and a great trip down the alley of nostalgia. It’s a shame that Collins’ didn’t answer some of the unanswered questions about the A-Team, but it was a very good, albeit obviously staged, show.

Also, I think at the end he should have said “Well I’ve done my job, I’ve brought back the A-Team.” then he should have paused, looked at the cast, perhaps thanked them on behalf of all of us for the memories and then said “Okay, let’s leave them be” and then walked away with the camera still there for a few minutes as they chatted away reminiscing about old times.

BBC interviews the wrong guy, but what happened next?

BBC Interviewed Guy Goma

BBC Interviewed the wrong guy

Recently the BBC interviewed Guy Goma, a graduate from the Congo, about the recent Apple vs Apple court case. Except, it was the wrong guy. It was a real mix-up. The real expert, Mr Guy Kewney, editor of Newswireless.net was still waiting in reception when he saw the taxi driver being introduced under his name. Anybody would have been fascinated to see me introduced live on air, as the expert witness in the studio, he wrote on his weblog. Me? Not fascinated; astonished! What would you feel, if, while you were sitting in that rather chilly reception area, you suddenly saw yourself not sitting in reception, but live, on TV? He added that it was especially surprising because the man, who spoke with a French accent, looked nothing like him. I’m not black. I’m not-black on a startling scale; I’m fair-haired, blue-eyed, prominent-nosed, and with the sort of pale skin that makes my dermatologist wince each time I complain about an itchy mole.

This vicious and vindictive attack was continued on his blog. He criticised both the BBC and Guy Goma for being “black”, and “French”. (note, the guy WAS NOT a cab driver as early reports indicated).

He’s missed a golden opportunity. This story has been reported all over the IT world for a few days now, bringing more traffic to his site than anything he could ever write normally would. However he’s chosen to put up a spiteful, bitter, some say racist piece about it when he could have put something stunning or good natured and REALLY propelled himself to being a respected IT name. Mentioning the black/pink thing once in passing, OK … but repeating it 3 or 4 times … sad bigot.

He even goes so far as to call visitors to his discussion forum “idiots“.

“I know who is the bigger idiot in all of this, and it’s not the guy the BBC interviewed!” As someone on that discussion forum says, sit the real Kewney on French TV with no notice and ask him in French about the width of the white lines or something just as technical about their motorways … I bet he would be even more stumped.

One of the biggest complaints of blogging, be it corporate or personal, is that it is inheritantly narcissistic, an exploration of one’s own importance, arrogance or in some cases, self-loathing.

Jodie Marsh’s online blog is held as the highest example of the worst example of online blogging. Her blog is basically an online form of bullying, which is ironic considering her stance on bullying.

But it’s not just her. Millions of bloggers try to get attention by being overtly controversial, be it via podcasting, video or traditional typing. Whilst being controversial can draw visitors and comment, I find it morally dubious.

Using blogging as a church to preach internal, controversional or even blatant racisim for the sake of getting a few comments is pointless and fruitless because you will always try to outdo yourself and probably end up like Richard Littlejohn.

Kewney’s outlandish, childish, punitive blogging should nail the death bed of his “expert” credentials, and I hope that the BBC never hires this buffoon again. Meanwhile, I really hope that Mr Guy Goma gets the job he wanted… and if not, I’m sure they’ll bring him onto the next episode of Have I got news for you.


Was UK Apprentice Series 2 fixed?

According to The Times, the “produceers of The Apprentice have rejected claims that Wednesdays final was fixed after viewers complained that Michelle Dewberrys moment of triumph was a sham.

However, viewers were not told that both finalists (Dewberry and Badger respectively) had been working for Sir Alan for six months before the final result was revealed to them. “.

What really narks me about this is that the finale was pre-recorded well over 6 months ago. Unlike the American version where the finale was done ‘live’, the UK version has opted to do it 6 months before it was due to air.

Although I don’t think the “moment of triumph” was a sham, I do think the whole situation stinks. Why was both competitors given a job? Why even bother having a contest?

The problem I had with series two of the UK version of the Apprentice was that it became increasingly derivative – by week 4 I was already bored with Sir Alan Sugar’s overtly aggressive “managerial” style. Sure, I accept it’s been done for entertainment (that’s why Sayed was kept until the end), and sure they need poetic licence, but for me Sir Alan and the Apprentice highlights and encapsulates everything that is wrong with entrepreneurship.

Alan’s style is stuck in the mid-80’s, when it was all “dog eat dog”. In the Apprentice world, no-one helps you, there is no team, it’s all about me, me, me. Qualities other than sales do not matter. Sir Alan is quite obviously looking for someone he can control, someone who can do the job. This ain’t the army, this ain’t the 30’s, and your workers aren’t soldiers for you to bark, belittle and berate for your own personal amusement.

“But this is business! — You gotta be hard, tough and roughless” I hear you say.

If business is about Machiavellian plots and stabbing each other in the back, and doing dodgy deals that a car salesmen would utilise, and if business is about you or indeed if business ain’t about the customer, then entrepreneurship can f–k itself.

One of the reasons I hate this myth of entrepreneurship is the ideal sold by shows like the UK apprentice where it’s all dodgy deals, where it’s all fake smiles and even faker people. This is where the UK version of the Apprentice is so far behind the American one. The American version has the flavour, sure it still has its Machiavellian plots, but Trump doesn’t belittle you or get easily frustrated just because you couldn’t sell.

The ideals of entrepreneurship aren’t shown in the Apprentice, rather it’s the ideals of the ideal salesperson, the ideal “team player” (in the Sir Alan Sugar world that could mean anything!)… and the ideal, willing slave.

But it’s not just me…

Sir Alan Sugar’s leadership style has been criticised by Professor Graham Jones. He’s worried that other entrepreneurs will copy the millionaire businessman’s abrasive style. He reckons good leaders “encourage and inspire” staff, rather than bullying them. Nearly 19 million working days are lost every year due to bullying, accounting for around 10% of firms annual profits. Professor Jones says Sir Alan’s style should be seen as entertainment, not a master class in leadership for entrepreneurs.

Applications for Series Three of The Apprentice is starting. The applicants will be asked questions including (I’ve included a SPOOF application, this isn’t me, honest!)

  • Why do you want to work for Sir Alan? (Because I like being talked down to, like I’m a kid that can’t make decisions by myself)
  • Have you ever lied or cheated to get what you want? If yes, when and why?(Sure, doesn’t every Apprentice TV-wannabe pre-madonna do this? Why? Well it won’t be good tele if I didn’t lie now would it?)
  • How do you deal with conflict at work?(By constantly shouting down my peers and blaming them for all failures, thereby allowing Sir Alan the courtesy of firing them. And anyway, who really cares about the team when I can make a SALE)
  • Describe something you would do if you knew you wouldn’t get caught?(Sell second cars to their previous owners, I mean you’re gotta have a challenge on selling, right?!)
  • How do you react when you don’t get what you want?(Shout louder than the previous person, making them burst into tears.)
  • Is there any one business ethic that you would never break?(All of them. Well okay, I lied)
  • Have you been on television before? If yes, please give details(No, much like the ‘much loved’ Chantelle of ‘Celebrity Big Brother’, I intend to fool everyone with my dashing looks and rather lack of brain cells. This will endure me to the newspaper buying public and I will be able to write a 300 page autobiography of my life at the tender age of 22)
  • Have you ever started or run your own business?(Yes. Please contact Del Boy of Trotters Independent Traders (T.I.T.))
  • What was it and what was the outcome?(Last time, last year we became millionaires. Then Del Boy blew the lot, but I can’t remember on what on, nor why. Sadly, old Del Boy is stuck in some French Prison)
  • In what way is money important to you?(In every way I guess)
  • Have you ever been fired?(No. But the kudos I will acquire from Sir Alan Sugar firing my ass will be a noteworthy thing to have on my CV, sorry I mean resume (urgh!))
  • Describe how you intend to make sure that YOU become The Apprentice?(By lying, cheating, defrauding, belittling, shouting down, being forceful and by selling more than everyone. Also, I intend to shoot the other candidates)

Will I be applying for UK Apprentice 3? Hell no. The UK version of The Apprentice stinks. And it stinks royally!

Original Article:
BBC denies triumph of Sir Alan’s apprentice was a sham

History according to Hollywood.

According to Hollywood, the Americans practically won World War II on their own (which is probably true), they retrieved and decoded the German Engima encryption machine before the British, and now it seems that Tom Cruise will be making “The Few”, a film which will, according to the IMDB, be about “…the true-life story of American pilot Billy Fiske, who ignored his country’s neutrality rules in the early days of WWII and flew Hurricanes against the Germans. ”

I still remember that old “Richard, Not Judy” sketch from the BBC a few years back where Stewart Lee was ripping into Braveheart because it was so historically incorrect.

I wonder if this film will be about how one sole American turned the tide and won the Battle of Britain himself, rescued Prime Minster Winston Churchill from Hitler’s personal unpenetrable fortress whilst developing the world’s first nuclear bomb and dropping it (and riding it) on the way down towards Berlin singing the Star-Spangled banner?

Sorry, I really couldn’t come with anything more original, which is kinda ironic considering we are talking about Hollywood here.

At least it won’t be as bad as Star Trek V: The Final Frontier where it was basically “Kirk vs God – Kirk wins!”

Ah well.

IMDB site on “The Few”